Ahhhhhhhh, man! I didn’t even see that guy. What the hell am I doing in this hallway anyway? Red Team is obviously camping out the beach because they know I want my-
Wait. Oh, shit… This guy’s gonna teabag me now?
No. Actually not. He’s just gonna sit there and glass in on my… Oh! I get it.
Yep! You got me. The gig is up. Take a screenshot after the game, it will last longer. Are you gonna message me with one of those challenges in which I am supposed to strip naked at the end of the match?
Damn! That’s just great. Real smart! Why don’t I just rush into the same hallway, only to get killed in a different corner? All the best players pull that move.
Oh, c’mon! This guy again?
Dude, go away. I know this pose with my back arched in a feline curve is hard to ignore, but go play Halo. Seriously. Did you hear that? We just took Territory 3 from you. Not interested?
You might think I was asking for this when I cowboyed back into your hiding place, but this is actually getting a little creepy. Let a man rest in peace, for crying out loud. Would you like for me to put the lotion in the basket? I am not a size 14, you know…
For Pete’s sake! Are you engaging anyone else on this team besides me? If a Gunslinger catches you poking at me with a stick, they’re gonna loan you some grenades. Now Git!
Oh, great. That’s it! Beat me around like your little doll. Go ahead, roll me over and put me in a pose. Cut my ear off and put it on a necklace, if you must. You know, any FBI Profiler would tell you that is a “problematic behavioral element”. Shouldn’t you be doing anything besides this right now? Like helping your team take Territory 2 from us on a sudden death?
C’mon… get me outta here.
3… 2… 1…