D0721 T1210 Y2008Postcards From The Deadbox

Ahhhhhhhh, man! I didn’t even see that guy. What the hell am I doing in this hallway anyway? Red Team is obviously camping out the beach because they know I want my-

Wait. Oh, shit… This guy’s gonna teabag me now?

No. Actually not. He’s just gonna sit there and glass in on my… Oh! I get it.

Yep! You got me. The gig is up. Take a screenshot after the game, it will last longer. Are you gonna message me with one of those challenges in which I am supposed to strip naked at the end of the match?

RESPAWN

Damn! That’s just great. Real smart! Why don’t I just rush into the same hallway, only to get killed in a different corner? All the best players pull that move.

Oh, c’mon! This guy again?

Dude, go away. I know this pose with my back arched in a feline curve is hard to ignore, but go play Halo. Seriously. Did you hear that? We just took Territory 3 from you. Not interested?

You might think I was asking for this when I cowboyed back into your hiding place, but this is actually getting a little creepy. Let a man rest in peace, for crying out loud. Would you like for me to put the lotion in the basket? I am not a size 14, you know…

RESPAWN

For Pete’s sake! Are you engaging anyone else on this team besides me? If a Gunslinger catches you poking at me with a stick, they’re gonna loan you some grenades. Now Git!

Oh, great. That’s it! Beat me around like your little doll. Go ahead, roll me over and put me in a pose. Cut my ear off and put it on a necklace, if you must. You know, any FBI Profiler would tell you that is a “problematic behavioral element”. Shouldn’t you be doing anything besides this right now? Like helping your team take Territory 2 from us on a sudden death?

C’mon… get me outta here.

3… 2… 1…

Posted by XerxdeeJ

Comment 3

  1. #LINK D0722 T0912
    failedparachute wrote...

    Hey, I played with you guys in a ranked big team match. First time I played against someone with Recon, and it was a close slayer game. We lost, 100-99, and my connection died before the match ended, but still it was fun. I can’t speak for my teammates, but I can say I certainly didn’t abuse the corpses (though I rarely do that anyways).

    Anyways, I hope you guys had a good time and who knows, maybe we’ll meet again in matching. Until then good luck and have fun.

    -failedparachute

  2. #LINK D0722 T1215
    H1LLMANAT10N wrote...

    Are you about a size 14? Hilarious, my dad uses that quote all the time, from Silence of the Lambs right? Is she a real big fat person?

  3. #LINK D0722 T1556
    Stuicide wrote...

    Hey Parachute, glad you had a good game! Sounds like a scorcher.

    Loved it! Your Recon distractions make it easier for us to win games.

commenting closed for this article

Gunslinger Plays of the Month: JUNEPlease Remain Calm