So… Did you all play SWAT? Yeah? Have a good time, did you?
Well, I certainly hope you got it out of your system.
Pardon me while I step well outside the circle of the popular majority here. Please excuse this purely selfish [and self-deprecating] analysis of the gamtype that permeated our weekend. Halo Gamers just LOVE their SWAT. Whenever Bungie opens a channel for feedback from their fanbase, it’s one of the most resounding themes that can be plucked from the deafening roar.
“Bring back SWAT!”
“We want more SWAT!”
“When are we gonna see SWAT in Halo 3?”
For this gamer, it’s a one-way express lane to my Achilles Heel – and Hell. Call me a shield whore. Tell me I am n00b. Criticize me for not being a true shooter. Go ahead. I can take it. After all, my skin is thicker in the real world than it is in SWAT.
Why do I hate SWAT?
[1] I don’t shoot at people’s heads. Video game lore has hyper-inflated the feat of the headshot. It’s a risky tactic in a combat scenario. When I take aim at an opponent, I deal my lead at the body. Those little heads are just such hard targets. Plus, we work so hard to earn these fancy helmets. Why are we always trying to wreck them with gunfire? I would rather put a round through the heart than the brain. It’s easier to clean out of my carpet.
[2] I really like to enjoy the luxury of a moment to know who is shooting at me before I am dead. Laugh if you must, but I am that gamer that you have killed while he was trying to run around a corner. When I play SWAT, I am very often dead where I stand on a respawn. Did I mention that this was a selfish analysis? If you are jealous, go start your own blog, yo. The Halo Nation can take a few more.
[3] The Master Chief is supposed to have shields. He underwent a crippling training regimen and a risky surgical procedure to fit into that suit. A rechargeable shield is just one of the perks. Yet, ever since LAN parties for ‘Halo: Combat Evolved’ people have been conspiring over smoke breaks to strip the poor guy of all his fancy toys. Never mind all of the research and development that went into the motion tracker. “Let’s turn it off and see what happens.” You Evil Evil Bastards!
SWAT is supposed to mean Special Weapons And Tactics. It is not supposed to mean Naked Slayer – which is what it should be called in Halo 3. In the Haloverse, the notion of SWAT points more toward the device you use to kill flies, or Warthog Pilots. The essence of SWAT combat is the presence of MORE toys, not less. When cops get dressed in SWAT gear, you know what they get?
You guessed it. Shields. They get friggin’ shields! But you Battle Rifle knuckleheads just want to ventilate a bunch of targets with all of the protection that tin-foil affords. Well here is one gamer who silently cheered that your weekend got cut short! So there…
This whole weekend, all I saw on my Friends List was Gunslingers partied off four-by-four. “C’mon, DeeJ” they would say. “We’re gonna play SWAT!” So I sucked it up and gave it the old college try. I didn’t even want the double experience points. All that will accomplish is putting those annoying gold bars under my rank icon, forcing me to confront my demons in Team Slayer again. The last time I let myself get tricked into giving a crap about that, I ruined a game night and made a Gunslinger cry.
Moral to the story? Bungie hates me. But I guess they love you…
And, you hate me too.
So I hate you as well, and I am taking my Oddball, and I am going home.
Do you see the evil that is engendered by SWAT?
Shut up.
rolflmfao, sorry Deej, I love me some one shot one kill. A am a leaf on the wind, watch me soar.
I completely agree with you. I want to play Halo, not Rainbow Six, when I get on Halo 3.
Swat can be mildly entertaining in short periods of time, but it’s not Halo if there isn’t shields.
I couldn’t disagree more Deej. I loves me some SWAT. The headshot with the BR is the pinnacle of all competition in the Haloverse. I always aim for the head when I shoot. It brings them down quicker SWAT or not. I also like it because it’s so fast paced. Nice write up Deej. :)
I got tired of roundhouse kicking everybody in the face, so I invented swat to get me some practice with a BR. It really is a good practice with a BR. You should try it.
Yeah, I have to agree with this venting against SWAT. I don’t find it very enjoyable, and if I honestly wanted to spend all day getting shot in the head, I’d suggest we all play Shotty Sniper. At least then I can enjoy having a shotgun.
Its a fast passed game
thats why i love it
its about seeing your opponent first or having the quicker shot, ya there is some stuff that sucks, just don’t put yourself in that situation if you can help it
and over half of the people that were on h3 xbl were in swat, that says something
so stop complaining or just never play again, its your choice, but those who do complain about it, i just see as little whining b/tards who cant play it, but thats just my view
Well, it’s a crappy view. His point was that he enjoys Halo the way it was originally designed – with shields – and that the lack of that little layer of ozone (or whatever) takes away from the originality of the game.
I’m not a huge SWAT fan, either. I was dreading the weekend until I found some awesome parties to play with.
I’m with Jeronimo. If I wanted a one-shot kill, I’d go fishing. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time this weekend, but that was due more to the company than the game.
If you want fast-paced, play hardcore. If you don’t want shields go play CoD. When you want to play some Halo come challenge TTL.
For those of you wish to take umbrage with my remarks, it should be known that this was satire and sarcasm. I like to call it satcasm. Or sartire. The point is that these constant changes in the playlist keep us on our toes. The other point was making a little fun of the seething masses who LOVE SWAT.
Now I´m confused. Could you re-write the whole thing in spanish so I can get it this time?
Sarcasm is one of th sweetest ways for lying, without guilt, and repercusions, and getting punched…
you are clearly a gay n00b that deserves to get shot in the head over and over.
i like swat, because my favorite noises include,
“whuhaa”
“uuugh”
“wourbb”
I love SWAT and I love Deej.
I’m torn.
Ha! I’m the worst SWAT player of all. I like playing SWAT with Magnums!!! I’m cackling maniacally right now. Wish you could hear it. It’s blood chilling.
Somebody call the Waaaaaaaaaambulance…
Nah, I like SWAT for warming up or a change of pace, but if I want one shot headshot kills, I pick up the sniper.
I don’t know about SWAT either. Sometimes I do really well and shoot many a face of many a player but usually i am on the receiving end of the barrel. Take it from someone who knows losing, SWAT is the fastest way to die.
I WANT TO JOIN TTL!
Thanks for playing SWAT with me DeeJ – SWAT RULES!
And for the record, don’t let DeeJ fool you – he can hold his own in SWAT, whether he likes it or not.