If the online gaming community is to be believed, You are Gay.
Yes, You. The reader of this blog article is Gay – that is, if the online gaming community is to be believed.
As much as you try to ignore it, or pretend that it isn’t true, there comes a time when you have to face the facts. You are Gay. On a long enough timeline, we must all accept that the truth lies not with ourselves, but rather with everyone else. It is You that is Gay. Everyone says so, thus it must be true.
It’s all been said before, here and there and in other corners of the gaming community. Trashy chatter will forever be a component in an anonymous environment where people can strike from behind the veil of an avatar and an assumed name. In far too many cases, it brings out the very worst in people. Jealousy. Rage. Hatred.
It came to me the other day: Microsoft should change their Xbox Live Disclaimer. While a warning like “Game Experience May Change During Online Play” is thoughtful enough, it is not entirely honest about the dangers that await the casual noob. In the effort of full disclosure, it may be more appropriate to publish one of the following disclaimers on the gaming titles that ship with portals that lead to Xbox Live.
WARNING: You are so gay.
WARNING: Here be Homophobes.
WARNING: [Parental Advisory] Online Gaming will make your Son a Queer and forever crush your dreams of raising an All-American Quarterback. Start saving for College, Daddy; for there will be no football scholarship awarded to your controller-wielding fancy-lad – even if he is playing something as seemingly Butch as ‘Madden’.
The biggest disappointment lies not in the rampant homophobia, but rather in the complete and total predictability of such. Where is the originality? Are we gamers not creatures of imagination and innovation?
Perhaps it is the tyranny of groupthink. Perhaps it is the vernacular of a generation raised by television and the gym teacher. Perhaps it is a defense-mechanism that arises in response to the fact that the Gayming Community is a sprawling coven of men who are kept company by a startling minority of lady gamers who are as rare and magical as the average unicorn. Perhaps it is just another signpost for the downfall of civilization. Perhaps it is just South Park.
The TTL Gunslingers encounter accusations of our Gayness all the time. You can almost set your watch by it. In either the pre or post-gayme lobby, there is a 92.73% chance that someone will attempt to dismantle our morale with a full-frontal verbal assault that is led by an opening salvo of: “You are Gay!”
It’s unavoidable – a damned-if-you-do / damnded-if-you-don’t scenario.
“You are Gay because you…
…have matching gamertags.”
…controlled all the power weapons.”
…camped your base when you were on defense.”
…captured the flag.”
…detonated the bomb.”
…won.”
…lost.”
To the Talkers of the Trash: Is accusing us of leading a life that is focused on an alternative sexual orientation really the best you can do? Hit me with your best shot. You really want to talk shit? Back it up with some good-old human ingenuity. I won’t talk back, but I will be grateful for the moment of entertainment before I teach my next lesson on the virtues of teamwork.
C’mon!!! Don’t poke me in the arm. Kick me in the shorts with your steeltoe. When did the suggestion of the Gayness of one’s opponent become the Mother of all Insults? There are so many other things [that are actually true] of which this gamer could be accused.
You really want to hurt me? Tell me that someone my age should be out networking in a way that will help my professional career. That might make me think about how I spend my time. A barb like that stands a slightly better chance of deflating my sense of pride.
Telling someone that they are Gay results in one of two possible outcomes.
1. They know they are, and are reminded of why they are special – and fabulous!
2. They know they aren’t, and are informed that their opponent is a bit of an Idiot – just the sort of Idiot that would not, say, alert their team to the fact that we are coming to collect our Laser in the opening blitz.
The only exception is when two Idiots engage in an Idiot contest.
Idiot #1: You are Gay.
Idiot #2: Oh, my God! No I am not. You are the one who is Gay, because I am NOT GAY AT ALL!!!”
On those delightful occasions, I welcome you to sit back and watch the sparks fly. It’s better than July 4th.
Moral to the Story: It’s a losing proposition for the gamer that wields the weapon of homophobia. It is at that time that they become the setup, the joke, and the punchline.
Of course, we can only complain about this so much. It is the witless jerks on Xbox Live that keep TTL in business. Thanks for giving us something against which we can define ourselves. Keep up the great work.
“Better to keep your silence and let others call you a fool than to open your mouth and confirm the point.”
I love just sitting back quietly and watching these guys make idiots out of themselves. Always good for a few moments of entertainment.
Whatever, “TTL” Demag0gue…
Nice Gaymertag!
Unfortunately gaming is neither the spawn nor the isolated corner of the world where this is true. The word gay has become completely acceptable way of calling sometime bad. My fathers high school students have explained to him that they did not call their friend GAY, that would be wrong. They were calling their buddy GHAY which is spelled different and has a different meaning and is thus acceptable. Really? Example: Recently heard on a subway car, two twenty something women were talking about another woman’s footwear. “Did you see those cowboy boots she is wearing? They are so gay!” Funny … women talking about women wearing masculine footwear choose to use the word gay to describe something that has nothing to do with homosexuality at all. It is a pity and a shame that this has happened. It is true that it becomes exacerbated while online especially when gay becomes something more inflammatory … like “faggot”. This war belongs everywhere, not just XBL. Language has caused too many ills in our world.
Hats off to you sir for bringing this topic to the readership at large… by the way … you are SOOOO ghay. (see what I did there?)
cca
this article is gay! OHHH BURNNNN!
i do so enjoy creative and original trash talk. thank you for issuing the challenge.
Their mouths are always much more active than their trigger fingers. My BR does the talking, postgame lobby stats are my witty retort. So do, call me gay…and then hurry up and quit out when it’s 85-30.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Why is it that the homophobes are the ones doing the teabagging? Anyone else see the contradicting behavior there?
I must admit, I call things that are stupid and silly “gay,” and that’s just how I roll. I had a homosexual co-worker I explained this to, and he understood. In the olde sense of the word, it meant happiness to the point of being silly.
I don’t use that word for hate mongering, however.
As for people trash-talking in a pre or post game lobby, there is nothing that can be done aside from muting them. They are strangers in a land of freedom, and their mouths let them do on-line what they are often too afraid to do in real life.
It is good that there are groups like this for team-work. Respect. Solidarity.
In that, TTL and our allies make me feel gay (in the happy sense).
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to light up a faggot (thats the term for cigs, nto a bundle of sticks, mind you) and get on with other business.
Yeah, I’m constantly reminded how special I am. Cough.
I still think it’s a dying idiocy though. I mean “UR BLACK/ASIAN!” would be a rubbish insult. Gay is going to go the same way… eventually.
Ah, well doesn’t matter to me.
“You’re right kid, I am gay. And I still sniped you, stuck you and assassinated you. I dunno how you can show your face at school tomorrow.”
3. They know they are, and are informed that their opponent is a bit of an Idiot – just the sort of Idiot that would not, say, alert their team to the fact that we are coming to collect our Laser in the opening blitz.
Idiots are idiots, regardless.