It was late on a frozen Friday night. This gamer had stumbled in from a sub-zero campaign to launch the weekend. As the saying goes: the Hour had rendered me Happy indeed – happier than most, even.

This is a great time to find a good game. Societal tenets such as “bed time” and “frat parties” go a long way towards removing some of the less desirable demographics from the battlefields of Halo 2 – like scum skimmed from the surface of your favorite swimming hole. With the kids of the world in bed, and the drunks of the world on parade, I tapped my button combo [the only one I know] that would enable me to sign in through a secured client for Xbox Live.

The Gunslingers who had foretold of their readiness were out in force. I was immediately saddled with a Big Team Battle raiding party. We were 8 strong. We knew both our game and the game of our neighbor. We were born again hard as Virtual Marines and ready to bring our noise unto the world.

The wheels of matchmaking were set to spin, an invitation for others to join us on the other side of the line. To our opponents, respect would flow more steadily than mercy. It was at that moment that our N3MESIZ for the evening was revealed.

He was the variety of gamer with whom we have all become familiar. Rude. Crude. Loud. Quick to betray. So angry at the world that he needed to lash out in all directions and at all people – be they on his team or not. Ironically enough, he had chosen the Covenant Mark of Shame for his players icon.

On this night, our N3MESIZ had lashed out in the wrong direction. He had picked the wrong fight. He trained his shit-talking mouth in the direction of a lady on our team. Bad move, cowboy. Now, while it must be said that this aforementioned angel of a gamer is well-equipped enough to defend herself, what can be more fun than teaching a surly ne’er-do-well a group lesson?

A long-standing [yet seldom-practiced] tradition among the TTL Gunslingers is what Overlord Jericho calls a Turkey Shoot. It’s a throw back to his days spent flying the Crimson Skies of the Xbox Live Beta Test. Jericho is old school for new toys. He does not take kindly to people ruining his good game. When he sounds the call of “Gobble, Gobble!” your mission is clear. Single out the offending party and make him your primary target.

The TTL Gunslingers would like to thank our nemesis for so enriching our evening. We had the distinct pleasure of routing him around the map on three serendipitous occasions on one night. No, really.

We saw him here. “Gobble, Gobble!”

We saw him again here. “OMG. Gobble, Gobble!”

And we saw him a final time here. “LMAO! Gobble, Gobble!!”

The poor bastard kept popping up like a bad penny. On each occasion, he only lasted a few minutes. We bottled him up. We shut him down. We skinned him and pinned his hide to our wall of shame. His hapless opponents only came into our crosshairs when they got in our way, or when they got in his.

N3MESIZ, if [by chance] you are reading, we would impart several learnings from the lesson taught by committee that evening.

1. Quitters never win and you are a jackass! :)

2. Gamers dig chicks. If a chick is a gamer, she is likely to have many friends.

3. The Halo Nation is more intimate these days. You are not as anonymous as you may think.

Posted by XerxdeeJ