We have all seen these rubber bracelets. Perhaps you wear one yourself. Lance Armstrong’s LIVESTRONG charity to benefit Cancer sufferers made them all but ubiquitous. Since then, they have been making appearances on wrists in every color, benefiting every cause imaginable.
Now, thanks to an offering through Think Geek (link courtesy of action thaxten), gamers can unite around a cause near and dear to our collective hearts: The n00b. More affectionately: “He who is pwned”. And more officially, a sufferer of a crippling disability that is to become known as Video Game Dominance Deficiency Disorder [or DDD].
Anyone who exists among a healthy community of gamers can identify a member of their ranks as a victim of DDD. They are the tailgunners who could not hit the broad side of Red Base with a Gauss Cannon – not to mention that trash-talking punk who is frantically reloading the rocket launcher. They are the poor fools who stand right next to the flag in a defensive posture on Ivory Tower, despite repeated warnings about the deadeye sniper in the opposing team’s nest. And in the most tragic instances, they are the lost souls who choke valuable bandwidth of Team Chat with questions like: “Are we on offense or defense, guys?” in the middle of a Team Slayer match.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for DDD. You can, however, show your support. By wearing this fashionable bracelet [in the same shade of Loser-Blue worn proudly by die-hard fans of the Chicago Cubs] you are sending a message of solidarity to the n00b. Your gesture of compassion goes a long way to let that agreeable fellow know that you do not resent him for being in your Clan – just because he is roommates with your Overlord. You forgive him for driving a fully-loaded Worthog off the same God Damn sea-shelf on Relic time after time after time after time.
It’s an unspoken invitation: “Stay close to me, n00b. I will cover you when the bad man armed to the teeth with a single SMG storms the base and comes looking to pad his score with your repeated demise.”
After all, we were all n00bs once. Weren’t we? And doesn’t it make you fell better to extend a braceleted hand of friendship to those tortured teammates whose ranks will never crest the double digit watermark?
If you have a heart, friends, the answer is “Yes”. The only answer is “Yes”.
Click here to Support The PWNED.
D0920 T1248 Y2005Support the PWNED: Join the Fight Against DDD
We have all seen these rubber bracelets. Perhaps you wear one yourself. Lance Armstrong’s LIVESTRONG charity to benefit Cancer sufferers made them all but ubiquitous. Since then, they have been making appearances on wrists in every color, benefiting every cause imaginable.
Now, thanks to an offering through Think Geek (link courtesy of action thaxten), gamers can unite around a cause near and dear to our collective hearts: The n00b. More affectionately: “He who is pwned”. And more officially, a sufferer of a crippling disability that is to become known as Video Game Dominance Deficiency Disorder [or DDD].
Anyone who exists among a healthy community of gamers can identify a member of their ranks as a victim of DDD. They are the tailgunners who could not hit the broad side of Red Base with a Gauss Cannon – not to mention that trash-talking punk who is frantically reloading the rocket launcher. They are the poor fools who stand right next to the flag in a defensive posture on Ivory Tower, despite repeated warnings about the deadeye sniper in the opposing team’s nest. And in the most tragic instances, they are the lost souls who choke valuable bandwidth of Team Chat with questions like: “Are we on offense or defense, guys?” in the middle of a Team Slayer match.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for DDD. You can, however, show your support. By wearing this fashionable bracelet [in the same shade of Loser-Blue worn proudly by die-hard fans of the Chicago Cubs] you are sending a message of solidarity to the n00b. Your gesture of compassion goes a long way to let that agreeable fellow know that you do not resent him for being in your Clan – just because he is roommates with your Overlord. You forgive him for driving a fully-loaded Worthog off the same God Damn sea-shelf on Relic time after time after time after time.
It’s an unspoken invitation: “Stay close to me, n00b. I will cover you when the bad man armed to the teeth with a single SMG storms the base and comes looking to pad his score with your repeated demise.”
After all, we were all n00bs once. Weren’t we? And doesn’t it make you fell better to extend a braceleted hand of friendship to those tortured teammates whose ranks will never crest the double digit watermark?
If you have a heart, friends, the answer is “Yes”. The only answer is “Yes”.
Click here to Support The PWNED.
Comments 10
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Clue me in here. What’s the significance of the “p” in “pwned”?
I think I was infected with DDD last night. Hopefully it wears off my tonight or you guys may have to buy one of those bands to support me.
I should order these in stock and pass them out at local LANs and Game Retails everywhere..
Or at least where I see 12 year olds with unrestricted access to xbox live.
Dissapointingly “pwned” is merely a miss-spelling of “owned”, it is not an allusion to the chess piece.
i removed my post because you all may not know me by my secret identity, but basically i was saying i should get one of these for the guys on the 7 floor of my dorm, def played them 1 vs 2 and still was able to display the small skill from wasting half my summer on live…
Where pwned came from:
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Pwned
Wow! I gotta get me one of those!
Do thinkgeek deliver to the UK?
Wow, I should buy a bucket of these for the poor souls I’ve tormented…
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DATE: 9/22/2005 06:40:51 AM
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DATE: 9/22/2005 02:16:24 PM
Couple of things, though I don’t make a lot of true noob mistakes, as illustrated in Dague’s blog, my kill/death ratio definitely says I suffer from DDD. I have half-jokingly blamed that one the controller. ;)
As for dweezle’s comment, unless the game is an objective game, playing 1 on 2 is a great advantage to the player who is alone. On several occasions I have tried this method when playing with varied skill levels and it is an awful way to attempt a handicap. It gets even worse when you increase the difference – try five on one. The team with five will lose right away – there are no targets!! Similarly, the only person having fun is the bloke on the 1 man team. Of course, at one point, the bell curves back again – when a person is simply so greatly outnumbered that they are spawn killed.
So dweezle, in my opinion, you handicapped them, not you. The only way to make that setup fair to them, is to change the victory conditions to 50 kills for the 1 player team or 25 kllls for the 2 player team. This allows for dimished targets presented by the 1 player team and simultaneously provides the handicap (advantage) for the two player team, provided that they are able to pick up the technique of double teaming.