Ingredients crucial to the recipe of a successful LAN Party: Gaming Pods… Tournament Scoreboard… Assorted Gluttony… Gamers (of course)...I arrived late to the Chicago LAN Party for reasons to remain unknown. At 4:00 PM Central Standard Time, I walked into the lobby of the Marriott Residence Inn. As promised, the hotel was just off the campus of O’Hare International Airport, all the better to accommodate 2o2p members flying in from out of town. This was evidenced by repeated flyovers by enormous passenger jets of the usual makes and models, all of them low enough to the ground to read the serial numbers on the fuselage.

Standing in line at a front desk that reminded me of a dozen business travels, I waited to be directed to the right room for the event. This question was answered for me by the barrage of Plasma Rifle fire emanating from the double doors across the lobby. According to the event itinerary, lunch would be over and the 4-man Team Tournament would be in full swing. The urge to bolt through those doors and reinforce the losing team would have to wait a moment longer. I needed ice for the case of Corona bottles sitting at my feet next to a backpack stuffed with an Xbox, controllers, and copies of several (Bungie) games.

A Family of Four stood in front of me in line. Their boys cast curious glances over their shoulders. They could hear what I could hear, and it was obvious that they recognized that sound. I could tell from the ravenous look in their eyes that they wanted to bound into that room as much as I did. Unfortunately for them, the closest these lads would come to video games at this hotel would be some ancient Nintendo title through the on-demand system in their room.

This was a 2old2play event, after all, and they were not tall enough to ride the ride.

With ice now in hand, I was ready to join the fray in progress. Thunderous cheers erupted from behind the doors. Someone was screaming about owning some n00bs. The all-too-familiar announcer’s voice made a declaration about a captured flag. Time to report for duty, reinforce the liquor reserves, and get jacked-in.

I knew my hosts only virtually. I had posted to their forums. They had posted to mine. While I had played on Xbox Live with several 2o2p’ers, all of the people through those doors were strangers to me. I knew they were a collective of adults who refused to put the controllers down and go quietly into the night. I knew they were a splinter cell from the Geezer community, who forged their own code of stricter rules for enagement alongside minors.

“Don’t suck!” I thought to myself. “You’ve been a real blow-hard on that blog of yours. If you go in there and make Zero kills and One assist, these cats ain’t gonna let you live it down easy. Just don’t suck…”

I breached the room. One or two heads swivelled to survey me. The rest didn’t even flinch from the determined stare focused on each of what appeared to be 16 screens erupting in blue plasma. The tell-tale sounds of the battle had been coming from Midship. Of course – where else does everyone wield at least one Plasma Rifle?

No expense had been spared. My $60.00 enrollment fee had gone one hell of a way. Within moments, I was equipped with a laminated badge bearing my Halo Players Icon & Gamertag and a 2old2play t-shirt. Doodi was kind enough to sit me down as an alternate for a jam-session with his “stacked team”, drawn randomly from tiers of players reanked by a Free-For-All tournament hosted in the earlier rounds of the day.

These gamers had been waging their Sytem-Linked wars since 11 AM – and up until 2 AM the previous night. They were honed. They had each found their Zone. I had not jacked-in since last Wednesday.

“Don’t suck…”

Miraculously, I didn’t. I didn’t carry my team, but I didn’t slow them down either. Bubba, Stuntman Dan, and Bliz adapted quite well to my vehicular antics. I even managed to save the day once or twice with a Worthog or a Ghost.

“Oh, you’re THAT guy!” came the remark. Damn straight. Stick with what you know. A late arrival at a tournament is no time to improvise your fighting style.

My first playdate with 2old2play was a raging good time. A fantastic experience was had by all. Cheers, cheers, and cheers to Doodi, Ebola, and everyone else on the committee who broke their backs to pull the event together. The community in attendance was the finest feature of the event. Sportsmanship in gameplay reigned supreme, with some notable infractions meant completely in good humor.

Many would agree that the comedic highlight to the evening came when a certain gamer taught his children some new words when they committed a security breach of the gaming hall just in time to hear Daddy scream:

“I killed all you Bitches!”

For those of you who failed to attend, I think you may yet have the chance to correct your mistake. The LAN Party movement is in effect. Jump on board. Keep an eye out for the next party, and grab on tight with your credit card number and an e-Mailed confirmation. Strength in numbers is the key to securing the best possible venue. The pilot has been launched, with repeated flights scheduled for the near future.

p.s. Many thanks to Carl Spackl3r for facilitating a hostage exchange for action thaxten in the wake of a last minute cancellation. Your donation helped the event come into being. I have a t-shirt for you. And a beer.

Posted by XerxdeeJ